The best grieving advice my mother could have given me.

I remember 16 years ago the days, weeks, and even months after my grandma Porter passed away and in that split second my mother changed. She didn't change in a bad way, just different... I think she looked at the world differently after her own Mama passed away.

Mom and I had our disagreements like every mother and daughter have, but mostly we had these deep discussions and conversations. Most of them will never be shared, but will forever be etched into my heart. Our favorite place to share these discussions was in the kitchen,

where we would do the dishes. Mom would clean the dishes and I would be the runner to get all of the dishes dried and put away. Our conversations were never forced, she knew if I wanted to talk, that I would and with it being my mom I usually wanted to talk.

I remember this conversation so vividly. It was about 5 years after her mom passed away and it was her mom's birthday that day. As we were washing the dishes, I saw a tear fall down my mom's cheek. My mother was a very strong person in every single way so for her to cry, I knew her heart was breaking.
"Mom, don't cry... Talk to me."
"Oh it's nothing Bug, I just miss Grandma."
"I know you do, Mom.. We all do. I don't know how you do it some days. I would be devastated if I ever lost you. " hugging her close at this point. And then the words that she said, I have had to use this in my own life now.
" I miss her every single day. Their is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her. The days I feel like I miss her most, I cry for about 5 minutes and then I wipe away my tears and get back to life because that's what she would want me to do."
Most days now I don't wake up crying out for my mom. Don't get me wrong I miss her like crazy and she is always in my heart and in my mind. But the hollowing feeling I had when she had first past has subsided. But on the days where I just think, I can't go another day without my mom here, I remember her words.
So yes mom, their will still be the days that I'll cry because I miss you so. But, I'll also make it a quick cry, and carry on with my day because I know that's what you would want.