Yes, I have Aspergers. No, I am not a killer.

Last Friday the 14th, will be a day that will always stick out in my mind. Not only did it open my eyes to the lack of security measures in the school I work at, but the nation is thinking the same way. It was the the day that 26 innocent lives, mostly children were taken away by a obviously disturbed young man.

Why am I writing about this? Well, a couple of hours after the tragedy made National News, we were finally finding out somethings about the killer.

The first 2 things I remember hearing about the killer was that he was labeled a "genius" and, that he could never make eye contact. And that's when I guessed he had the same disorder as me, Aspergers. What I didn't know was how certain people and the media were going to portray people with Aspergers. Within 8 hours of the tragedy it was all over my twitter feed, assuming that people with Aspergers could all become serial killers.

Excuse me?!?!? Me becoming a killer?
I have smacked my sister before and even then I feel bad about it. I don't know how someone could kill 26 people especially children.
I have been working at my elementary school for 4 years now and as a paid staff for 10 months. I would be one of the people protecting my "kids" students instead of hurting them.

The hardest day since the tragedy was Monday, December 17th. Why you might ask? Because when I left work on Friday we knew nothing about the shooter. Well, most of my coworkers know that I have Aspergers and I didn't want them to be scared of me or around me. I also had no idea how my extended family would come to terms with everything that was going on and that they shouldn't be worried around me. But, at the end of the day I was still treated the same way and I was relieved.


Having Aspergers doesn't make me a murderer- it makes me an everyday Aspie.

Took a single pink rose to the Christmas Box Angel Statue for all 20 children that died last week, including a girl that was born here in Ogden.

All of the surrounding area got together and put pink ribbons up everywhere in support for little Emilie who was from Ogden.

I left work the other day and saw this sign outside of the school I work at. It brought tears to my eyes because I do love my kids, and I would do anything in my power to protect them.  

Bucket List #37

On Friday there were a whole range of emotions flowing in me. But, I don't want to bore you with the details, so let me tell you about the high points. Every year the Mormon Tabernacle Choir puts on a Christmas Concert, and this year I wanted to go so badly for one reason: Tom Brokaw. If you don't know who he is, he is a national news anchor, who I just happen to share a birthday with! 10x more exciting.

Well, we made our way down there hoping we would be able to get into the Conference Center to see the performance in person. We weren't able to get in, so we went to the tabernacle to watch via satellite, which (thank goodness) worked out to our benefit since we knew Tom would be at Deseret Book immediately after the concert signing books. So, we rushed through Temple Square and across the street to Deseret Book.

The lines were already forming so we had to hurry and get in line behind some middle aged women who were acting like tween fangirls wanting the performing artist Alfie Boe to sign their CD's... Disgusting. Directly behind us was this 20-something year-old guy who thought he was Gods gift to women. And everyone else. Ugh.

For once in my life, I wasn't the impatient one. Holly was. granted, she was hungry, tired, and extremely annoyed. (I was too, I just seem to conceal it better when annoyed.)

Fast forward an hour and a half and we were finally next in line... and I started to get nervous. When it was finally my turn, Holly actually had to give me a nudge so I would hand my book over to Tom's assistant so he could sign it. The one time I am quiet in my life is the same time I wanted to tell him that I admire him so much. But instead I had a huge smile on my face and only said thank you when he smiled back at me. When I looked at my book and back at him I was floating on cloud 9! I had just met one of my idols!

...and that was the time this aspie was made extremely happy. :)

Bucket List #37 ? Check!

12/2/2012

Last Tuesday I went to see my counselor at Vocational Rehab (or VR) to see what the next step would be to get me back to college.

The first thing we looked at was the results of my career aptitude test. And, to no suprise, my math and spelling scores were above average and also to no suprise my english scores were a bit below average (too many rules and exceptions to memorize!). The next thing we looked at was my interests, and the things that I might enjoy doing.

What I found interesting, was that in my results from my aptitude test, among my top interests (just after teaching), was farming. I come from a long line of farmers on both sides, but particularly my great grandfather on my dad's side, Leyan Nelson, whose birthday I share. I have always felt so close to him even though I have never met him, and this just summed up how much we have in common.

After we discovered this little tid-bit of information, my counselors supervisor came in, and I was so nervous around him I would look to dad for answers.

They told me I would have to meet with a therapist (for my social anxiety, and to learn how to cope with certain situations). Also need to see my doctor so we can get my ADD under control (if you personally know me, you can totally tell because i will be totally focused and then I will hear a sound and my focus is gone.)

So, before I can start school they want me to be "stable" so I can focus and have a somewhat normal college experience. Makes sense, wouldn't want to be unstable in an already unstable place! :)

* I want to thank my little sister Holly, for all she does to help me edit my posts so it actually makes sense to you all. :)

The Girl Behind the Blog

Photo Credit: Holly Lynn 365 

Hi!    I'm Ashley, I'm from Utah, I work in an Elementary School as a teachers aide, and I have Aspergers, so I'm an aspie (hence the name of my blog). In the publics eye I seem quite normal, but to my family I definitely have my quirks. I started up this blog to show people that kids and even adults with Aspergers can have a relatively normal life (like me!). I like music lyrics and quotes that relate to my life, so you'll see them in some of my posts. I'm also going to write about how my life is going, and my journey while trying to get back to college. I hope you enjoy my blog, and if you want to, follow me. :)


"The difference between Aspergers and Autism could be summed up by the following: A person with autism lives in his own world, while a person with Asperger's lives in our world, in a way of his own choosing. By that standard, most people cold  be said to have Asperger's."   ~Nicholas Sparks